A new job

So I have a new job.  I am a stay-at-home mommy now.  And boy do I have so much more respect for stay-at-home parents now.  I thought my days would consist of cuddling both boys that are at home, calling to check on Luke, and maybe a couple loads of laundry here and there.  Nope.  My days consist of chasing a very active toddler around, trying to feed Declan and nurse Miller at the exact same time, somehow finding 5 minutes to shower and get dressed for the day, calling to check on Luke while Declan screams at me... But you know what?  I am loving every minute of it.  I'm not saying I won't have days where I feel overwhelmed.  But I think after everything we have been through, I am so so so grateful to be spending this time with my boys.  It really does make you look at things differently.  The house may not be spotless.  We may have laundry piled up.  Oh well.  It'll get done when it gets done.

Luke has had another rough stretch.  The infectious disease doctors talked to Tom yesterday.  Luke has something but they don't know what.  He is on more antibiotics and steroids.  His left lung isn't looking as good.  It has started to deflate a little bit, so they started a steroid in hopes of getting it back to full capacity.  The doctors say that the next 3 or 4 days are very critical for him.  They say it will give us a better idea on his survival and what long term problems he may have.  I literally felt sick when I heard all of this.  I would give anything to take this struggle myself.  If I could trade places with him, I would in a heartbeat.

Today I spent a good majority of the day with Luke.  One of the respiratory therapists told me for what it's worth, she thought he looked better today.  She also told me about a set of twins that were struggling like Luke and they came to visit today, at ages 2 and 1/2, and they are happy, healthy kids.  I needed that.  I know the severity of the situation, but we need some hope to cling to.  I sang to Lucas today.  He seemed to like that.  I am by no means a great singer, but I just felt the need to sing to him.  I talked to him a lot and prayed over him.

Back at home, Miller is chowing down and gaining weight like a champ.  He left the NICU weighing 5 lbs 4 oz and now he is up to 5 lbs 11 oz!  Miller loves to cuddle.  He positively hates bath time, making it a miserable process for both of us.  Unfortunately, due to him peeing on his head almost every day this week, he has gotten a few baths.  He has outgrown his preemie clothes and is now into newborn sizes, though they are slightly too big for him.  The pants are especially big since this little guy has some skinny legs.  He is still in preemie diapers.  Little guy loves to be swaddled.  Good thing that Tom is an expert swaddler.  I, on the other hand, am not very good at swaddling.  We are getting there though.

Big brother Declan is very curious about Miller.  He has some moments of jealously, but they are few and far between.  Every time Miller makes a noise, Declan says brother, or "bruh-ba."  It is so cute.  Declan is so close to walking.  I think if we had carpet instead of hardwood floors, he would be walking already.

Love this little guy so much!