2 months!

The twins turned 2 months old on the 22nd.  I can't believe my little twinkies are already 2 months old!

Miller,
You are 2 months old!  Wow, time is flying by!  This month you got to come home and we are loving every minute with you.  You now weigh 6 lbs 2 oz and are 19 and 1/2 inches long.  Big boy!  You are still in preemie diapers but you have moved up to newborn size clothes.  You are taking about 2 and 1/2 oz of breast milk every 3-4 hours.  You are still a little feisty man.  Bath time is a dreaded event in our house because you hate it so much!  The past couple of weeks have been busy for you.  You had an eye exam last week and it was terrible for mommy to watch.  You screamed so much.  You have gone to the pediatrician a couple of times and are gaining weight like a champ.  We love you so much!

Lucas,
You are 2 months old, baby boy!  Luke, you are so amazing.  The doctors and nurses continue to talk about what a little fighter you are.  Over the last month you have had another surgery, gotten off the oscillator, and come down on some of your ventilator settings.  Your stats go back and forth, but one day we walked into your room and your oxygen saturation was at 100%!  We tried to snap a picture of it, but it changed as soon as we got the camera out.  Your weight is around 5 lbs, but due to fluid retention we aren't quite sure exactly how much you weigh.  You are very tall (I think you are even longer than Miller) and have some big feet!  You seem to like it when mommy sings to you and when we talk to you in a soft voice.  You don't like loud noises or a lot of commotion.  You have started quite the stuffed animal collection.  My sweet boy, you are so amazing and so loved.

A new job

So I have a new job.  I am a stay-at-home mommy now.  And boy do I have so much more respect for stay-at-home parents now.  I thought my days would consist of cuddling both boys that are at home, calling to check on Luke, and maybe a couple loads of laundry here and there.  Nope.  My days consist of chasing a very active toddler around, trying to feed Declan and nurse Miller at the exact same time, somehow finding 5 minutes to shower and get dressed for the day, calling to check on Luke while Declan screams at me... But you know what?  I am loving every minute of it.  I'm not saying I won't have days where I feel overwhelmed.  But I think after everything we have been through, I am so so so grateful to be spending this time with my boys.  It really does make you look at things differently.  The house may not be spotless.  We may have laundry piled up.  Oh well.  It'll get done when it gets done.

Luke has had another rough stretch.  The infectious disease doctors talked to Tom yesterday.  Luke has something but they don't know what.  He is on more antibiotics and steroids.  His left lung isn't looking as good.  It has started to deflate a little bit, so they started a steroid in hopes of getting it back to full capacity.  The doctors say that the next 3 or 4 days are very critical for him.  They say it will give us a better idea on his survival and what long term problems he may have.  I literally felt sick when I heard all of this.  I would give anything to take this struggle myself.  If I could trade places with him, I would in a heartbeat.

Today I spent a good majority of the day with Luke.  One of the respiratory therapists told me for what it's worth, she thought he looked better today.  She also told me about a set of twins that were struggling like Luke and they came to visit today, at ages 2 and 1/2, and they are happy, healthy kids.  I needed that.  I know the severity of the situation, but we need some hope to cling to.  I sang to Lucas today.  He seemed to like that.  I am by no means a great singer, but I just felt the need to sing to him.  I talked to him a lot and prayed over him.

Back at home, Miller is chowing down and gaining weight like a champ.  He left the NICU weighing 5 lbs 4 oz and now he is up to 5 lbs 11 oz!  Miller loves to cuddle.  He positively hates bath time, making it a miserable process for both of us.  Unfortunately, due to him peeing on his head almost every day this week, he has gotten a few baths.  He has outgrown his preemie clothes and is now into newborn sizes, though they are slightly too big for him.  The pants are especially big since this little guy has some skinny legs.  He is still in preemie diapers.  Little guy loves to be swaddled.  Good thing that Tom is an expert swaddler.  I, on the other hand, am not very good at swaddling.  We are getting there though.

Big brother Declan is very curious about Miller.  He has some moments of jealously, but they are few and far between.  Every time Miller makes a noise, Declan says brother, or "bruh-ba."  It is so cute.  Declan is so close to walking.  I think if we had carpet instead of hardwood floors, he would be walking already.

Love this little guy so much!

Miller's big day continued

On Tuesday this week Tom and I got to the hospital to see the boys and the nurse that day said, "How would you guys like to take Miller home on Thursday?"  We were pretty surprised because we thought it would be at least next week before he could come home.  Of course we were thrilled to take him home sooner than we thought.  Wednesday was a busy day.  We took infant CPR classes, which I think every parent should take.  I didn't know how to do infant CPR until now and I feel much better knowing how to do it now.  Miller had to do the car seat challenge too.  This is where they put him in his car seat for a while (he was in there for an hour) while he is hooked up to his monitors and they see how he handles it.  If they don't pass, they are given a car bed to ride in.  Miller did great on his car seat challenge.

Next we packed up his room and got quizzed on how to take care of a new baby.  Miller then got all of his monitors off.  He did not like this, of course.  He wiggled around in protest.

The boys' primary nurse, Becky, was on the other side of the NICU working with a different group of babies.  She came by to see Miller though.  This woman is an amazing nurse.  She has what you can't teach. She is a God send.

Now we are at home adjusting to life with two babies at home and going to see this sweet little peanut in the hospital.

Lucas is getting over his last infection which came back as MRSA pneumonia.  Friday his oxygen saturation was a little low.  It was staying in the 70s and low 80s.  Right now his saturation is in the 90s and I have even seen it at 100% a couple of times.  They have him on 75% oxygen and on the oscillator.  He was in a paralysis state so that he wouldn't move and get agitated, but they took him off that and now he is wiggling around and opens his sweet little eyes when I talk to him.  Sweet boy.  I cannot wait to hold him again.

Miller's big day

Guess what...

Miller came home today!  We are THRILLED to have him home, although we would give anything to have Lucas home as well.

Random thoughts

We went to church today for the first time in several weeks.  We are part of a wonderful church.  So many people, even people we have never met, came up to us and told us they have been praying for our family.  That really touched me.  Declan went to the nursery today.  I snuck out of service to go check on him at some point and saw him sharing his cheerios with another boy in his nursery class.  He is such a sweet little boy.  Every day when we go to the hospital he starts saying "bru-ba" (brother) when we get to the boys' rooms.  It is so sweet.  He got a helicopter toy for his birthday and I heard him playing in the floor imitating the helicopter sounds.

After church we headed down to the hospital.  Of course as soon as we get there, my sweet Declan went crazy.  He was grumpy and crying and just CRAZY.  Miller wanted nothing to do with his bottle today when I tried to feed him.  One of the nurse practitioners said today that the feeding situation is basically the only thing keeping Miller from coming home.  He is gaining weight consistently.  He weighs 4 lbs 15 oz now.  Now he just needs to take a bottle consistently at every feeding.  He is still ahead of his gestational age for feedings.  Most babies don't get the bottle thing until 36-38 week mark and he will be 36 weeks tomorrow.  I'm just ready for Miller man to get to come home.

Lucas is still resting and recovering.  They are weening him off his pain medications over the next few days.  The next steps will be weening off the ventilator and begin feedings through his MIC-KEY button.  When I went into his room today, he was wide awake and looking around.  He has been so sedated lately that I rarely see him with his eyes open.  It was so sweet to see him looking at me while I talked to him.  During his operation this week, they gave him a new kind of feeding tube called a MIC-KEY button.  It is a type of g-tube that the nurses say is easier to clean and use.  They all love the MIC-KEY buttons.  After some googling, I discovered several websites that make cute little MIC-KEY button covers.  I found some clothes that have flaps that snap over the g-tube site too.

We have all done some talking and we want to make sure Lucas has as much of a normal childhood as possible.  Yes, he does have special needs.  But is still a little boy and I will do everything possible to make sure he gets to lead a safe and normal childhood.  Lucas is so amazing.  He has changed my life in so many ways.  He is so beautiful.

Tomorrow I start back to work so I'm sure this week will be crazy busy.  It will definitely take some time to get a good schedule down.  Working 10 hour days Monday-Thursday, taking care of a very active 1 year old, going to see the twins every day, and keeping up with things like laundry and sleep....  It is going to be so busy!

Recovery and jamming to some music

Lucas had his surgery to repair the TE fistula on Wednesday.  I was nervous about it because it is a very serious surgery, but I had prayed a lot and felt that God gave me a sense of peace about it.  I felt like it was going to be ok.  Wednesday morning I got the hospital early that morning and sat with Lucas and told him how proud we are of him and that he was going to do so well during surgery.

The surgery team came up to the room around 11 that morning and got him prepped and ready.  They let me walk with them down to the surgery area and I got to pick out a stuffed animal for him.  I got him a teddy bear and took it back to his room.  I waited in Miller's room while they did the surgery and next thing I know they are calling me telling me that he did great and was on the way back upstairs.  We are so proud of our little Lucas!

Luke's teddy bear

Thursday I walked into Miller's room and see this-

Miller had a radio in his room and was jamming out to some country music.  It tickled me.  I think he liked it too because he was very calm that day.  Our nurse said we could bring some CDs in for him to listen to.  We will most likely have to buy a CD for him since I'm sure he won't be calm listening to the type of music that Tom likes.  I have discovered a lullaby CD set called Rockabye Baby which is lullaby renditions of classic rock.  Maybe Miller will like some lullabies to Queen music.

The boys got their first round of vaccinations this week.  Miller had another eye exam and passed with flying colors again.  They didn't do Lucas' eye exam since he is still recovering from surgery but they expect his to be good too.

He's a fighter!

Just a quick update.  We will post details soon.  Lucas had a successful surgery today!  His TE fistula has been fixed and he had a new PICC line and G-tube put in as well.  Little man is recovering now.  Thank God for a successful surgery!

Birthday gift

So today is my birthday and this is the wonderful gift I got today-

I got to hold my sweet Lucas for the very first time.  After 43 long days I finally got to hold my precious baby boy.  I cried so many tears of joy.  Words cannot describe the pure joy the first time a mother gets to hold her baby.  This was most definitely one of the sweetest and best moments of my life.  It seems like lately I've done more pleading than praising God, but today I have praised Him for the beautiful blessings He has given me.  I am so thankful for all my boys.  I am so thankful that I got to hold precious Lucas.

Tomorrow morning Lucas will have surgery to correct the TE fistula and to place a more secure PICC line.  Please pray that the surgery goes well.  Pray for the medical team doing the surgery.  Pray for strength for our family.  We are scared and nervous.  Pray that Lucas recovers quickly.

The past two nights Tom and I have both stayed the night at the hospital and taken care of Miller.  We have gotten to bathe him, take his temperature, weigh him, dress him, change his diaper, and given him his bottles.  He is getting better each day at feeding from a bottle.  One of the sweet nurses sat down with me and gave me some pointers for feeding a preemie.  After using some of her techniques, Miller started to be more interested in his feedings.  We are so proud of our boys!

What's in a name?

A lot of people have asked us lately where we got the boys' names so I thought I'd share :)

Our oldest boy is Declan Thomas.  Most people think Declan is a family name, but it isn't.  Way back before we were even expecting him we saw a movie that had a character named Declan.  We loved the name!  We looked it up and it was Irish and means "full of goodness."  Even better.  It had a great meaning.  It is pronounced Deck-lin.  Recently we have seen the name around a lot, like in the TV shows Revenge and Criminal Minds.  His middle name, Thomas, is my hubby's name.

Our twin boys are Miller James and Lucas Rolland.  Miller is a family name on my dad's side of the family.  My great-grandfather's name was Miller and it is my little brother's middle name.  I have always loved the name Miller but it took some convincing on Tom's part.  He didn't like it at first (but he loves it now!).  His middle name, James, is Tom's dad's middle name.  The name Lucas was chosen because it means "light."  And our little Luke is a light in our lives.  Lucas' middle name is Rolland which is Tom's middle name and Tom's grandfather's name.  It is pronounced Ral-land.

So there's a little background to our boys' names :)